How to Get Over a Breakup When You Still Love Them
When you still have feelings for the person, moving on can feel almost impossible. Love doesn’t just switch off because a relationship ends, and the emotions that linger afterward can be intense and overwhelming. But while healing won’t happen overnight, taking small, intentional steps can help you reclaim your happiness and look forward to a brighter future. Here are some practical strategies to help you get over a breakup when you’re still in love.
1) Allow Yourself to Feel
It’s natural to want to push away the pain, but bottling up your emotions only prolongs the healing process. Cry, scream, write in a journal—do whatever you need to let those emotions out. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve the relationship; this is an important step in starting to let go.
2) Accept That It’s Over
Sometimes, we hang on to the hope that things might change. But in order to truly move forward, it’s essential to accept the reality of the breakup. Remind yourself why the relationship ended, and remember that moving on doesn’t mean you’re giving up on love; it means you’re making room for a future that is healthier and more fulfilling.
3) Create Boundaries with Your Ex
Staying in close contact can make it harder to let go, so consider setting boundaries. This might mean unfollowing them on social media, avoiding certain places you went together, or limiting conversations. These boundaries aren’t about being cold or indifferent; they’re about protecting your emotional well-being and helping your heart heal.
4) Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Lean on friends and family who genuinely care about you. Spend time with those who lift you up and remind you of your worth. Share your feelings with someone who can offer a listening ear and honest advice, and don’t hesitate to ask for support when you need it. Sometimes, just being around people who bring positive energy can do wonders for your mood.
5) Challenge Negative Thoughts
It’s easy to fall into a pattern of self-doubt and blame, wondering if things could have been different. When these negative thoughts arise, challenge them. Write down positive affirmations about yourself and your worth, and remind yourself that this breakup doesn’t define you. Let go of “what if” thinking and focus on the possibilities of what’s next.
6) Seek Professional Help if You Need It
Breakups can stir up emotions that go deeper than the relationship itself, especially if they trigger unresolved issues or trauma. Talking to a therapist can give you the tools to process these feelings in a healthy way. Therapy can provide guidance and perspective, helping you to move forward in a constructive and supportive environment.
7) Avoid Rebounds or Quick Fixes
After a breakup, it’s natural to want to fill the void left by your ex. But jumping into a new relationship too soon or relying on quick fixes can prolong the healing process. Take time to reconnect with yourself instead of searching for validation from someone else. Give yourself the space to truly heal and avoid making decisions out of loneliness or pain.
8) Focus on What You’ve Gained, Not Just What You’ve Lost
Every relationship teaches us something, even if it ends in heartbreak. Reflect on the lessons and growth that came out of this experience. Maybe you’ve learned more about what you want (and don’t want) in a partner, or perhaps you’ve gained a better understanding of yourself. These insights are valuable and can help you build stronger, healthier relationships in the future.
9) Set Goals for the Future
Start looking forward instead of backward by setting personal goals. They don’t need to be monumental—a simple goal of practicing self-care, focusing on a career objective, or planning a trip with friends can give you a sense of purpose and something to look forward to. Building a future that excites you can be a powerful reminder that there’s life beyond this breakup.
Healing after a breakup, especially when love is still present, takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself and recognize that it’s okay to feel lost, sad, or even frustrated. Remember, healing isn’t linear, and there will be good days and bad. But each step you take toward prioritizing yourself and embracing new possibilities brings you closer to feeling whole again. In time, you’ll find peace and open yourself up to a future filled with love and joy—both from yourself and others.